I will continue to run my fingers along my own fault lines and learn how to hold myself up when the inevitable earthquakes occur; this is the promise I make to myself.
Your journey is yours, and so is your healing. Do not allow others to place a timestamp on your progress. It might not happen today, nor tomorrow. Heck, it might not even happen in the next 10 years. But, it will happen. You will wake up one morning and you will be breathing a little differently because your heart is lighter and your body is not working as hard to survive. You will simply be living, and that will be everything.
If this gentle month has taught me anything, it is that love exists in the banal and the every day. You do not need to go looking for it anywhere except within your own self.
I have never had so many things go so colossally wrong all at once but in same breath, go so right either. The entire month of May has been, much like myself, a paradox.
The days are dark, and the light seems as though it will never shine upon us, but we’re going to power through anyway and hold on to the most powerful thing we have, hope. The tides will inevitably change, and our paths will too often stray from the linear one we’d hoped for it to stay on, but that isn’t always a bad thing; sometimes what we need is different to what we want and it is in the right timing and situation that all which is right for us will align and make its self apparent.
On the good days and the bad, I reached out for my comfort book and read it cover to cover until my little brain pleaded with me to change it up a bit and read something new. But, my goodness, that book changed me.
And that’s the biggest difference in this new year of life. For so long I have lived for everyone else that I forgot that I’m a person too, and I deserve to be cared for by me.
On some mornings I still stand in front of the mirror for a minute too long and have to fight the urge to knock all of these products off the sink, but I have to take a moment to remind myself that this is for me. It hasn't always been for me, but it is now. I owe it to myself to be kind to my body, mind, and soul.
