Hello 2019

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What a year 2018 has been, ladies and gentlemen. We have loved, we have lost. We have grieved, we have rejoiced. We threw parties, and attended funerals. Somehow, we’ve managed to fit the entire spectrum of human emotion into one single year, and frankly, I’m impressed. Humanity has outdone itself in so many ways, and you know what? We’re all still standing. We’re all still fighting. And most importantly, we’re all still alive. We’re alive, and we’re kicking.

2018 has been an odd year for me, but despite it all, I feel like it’s been one of my most formative years till date. I learnt so much about myself, about others, about the world, about love, loss, death, and everything in between. I met people I never thought I’d meet, reconnected with those I never thought I would, and experienced things I never even dreamt of. Though life really kicked me in the teeth, for the lessons it carried and the blessings that came along with it, I could never express enough gratitude. It has been bittersweet, but every bit worthwhile.

I have stopped coming into each new year saying “new year, new me”, but rather “new year, same me, but better”. And it has been revolutionary. I am not constantly disappointing myself when I am unable to stick to the resolutions I set for myself, but rather reminding myself that this is an opportunity to take the moment and build something better out of it. Couldn’t start the year on a health kick? No problem. Let yourself breathe and start by taking small steps like reducing the sugar in your tea/coffee or saying no to that extra biscuit you’re dipping in your tea. Feeling like you’re alone in life? Text that friend or those friends. Just text them or call them. They might not be immediately available, but they will be. More people love and acknowledge our existence than we let ourselves accept. Do you see what I’m doing here? Giving myself the responsibility to take a goal and break it down into more doable actions. The responsibility lies on my own self rather than the world and the new year to act as some divine intervention to miraculously change the years of habits in us overnight.

If there’s anything that can be taken away from my year in review, it is this: don’t go into 2019 thinking you’re going to change every little bit about yourself and it’ll be an easy task. You are who you are today as a result of the things you’ve been through. It is no coincidence that you possess specific skills, traits, and habits. They are living proof of your survival. But, I get it. Sometimes we need to fine tune ourselves to survive better in the long run, and that’s okay. Think of it less as a complete upheaval of your self, but rather a refinement of who you already are.

As we welcome in this year and I wrap this post up, I’d like to leave you all with one of my favourite life lessons from Grey’s Anatomy:

Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

Have an incredible new year, folks. May this year bring you goodness in every possible way and inspire you to live your best life by taking the good with the bad and using it all as a way of learning and growing. Sending love and light your way, always.

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Ayesha Khanom

Sometimes a teacher, sometimes a student, but mostly caffeinated. This blog is a terrible attempt at writing out my thoughts - think of it as the 'comments, complaints, and suggestions' section of my brain. Nevertheless, I hope that some of these words will find a place in your heart and will stay with you even when I do not. If you'd like to get in touch, send me a message on Instagram or leave a comment on one of these posts and I'll get back to you at the best possible time.

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