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Holding Space for Yourself




This year has been about changing things for the better, even if it makes my hands shake and my voice break. It has been about unlearning bad habits and returning to the goodness that exists at my core. This year has brought me to my knees more times than I can count, but each time I’ve fought my way back up again. Broken, bruised, and hanging on by a thread and yet, Allāh ﷻ brought me back from the brink of my nightmares and considered me worthy enough to keep breathing life and light into.

But, listen to me when I say this, sometimes I was forcefully blind. There are times I didn’t want to believe that there is good in me, or that Allāh ﷻ cared enough for me to keep bringing me out from the darkness and into the light again, but it happened. Time and time again, it happened. On the days however that I didn’t trust in the plan Allāh ﷻ had destined for me, I had to remind myself of my own strength and reason for being. I hope that you will be able to make some room in your heart for this little reminder of mine that got me through my rougher days.

This is for the days the doubt creeps in. For the days you feel your life on this earth is of no value. This is for all the moments you feel like you’re the common denominator in every bad situation. For all the times you think they were right when they treated you like nothing. But most importantly, this is for today, for tomorrow, and every day of the rest of your life.

You are the perfect combination of dust and light, put on this earth to be the best kind of good you possibly can. God chose to put life in you, and you are incredibly special. You are love and life, and all things in between. You are the good, the bad, and the ugly, but none of these are mutually exclusive. You can be anything. You are everything.

Choose yourself. In any and every case, choose yourself.

People will make you feel guilty about this. As if choosing yourself is some kind of criminal act. But do not pay attention. Only you get to decide what your priorities are. And only you can hold space for yourself.

Whether you stand alone, or amongst others, hold space for yourself. And on the days you do not feel you will be able to do yourself justice, do what you can and place your trust in Allāh ﷻ.

May you find the kindness you so desperately seek from the world hidden in the depths of your own self.


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Ayesha Khanom

Sometimes a teacher, sometimes a student, but mostly caffeinated. This blog is a terrible attempt at writing out my thoughts - think of it as the 'comments, complaints, and suggestions' section of my brain. Nevertheless, I hope that some of these words will find a place in your heart and will stay with you even when I do not. If you'd like to get in touch, send me a message on Instagram or leave a comment on one of these posts and I'll get back to you at the best possible time.

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