Life is a funny thing. You think you have it all under control and it’s all going well, and you’ll be thrown a curveball out of nowhere. The thing about curveballs is that they knock you a little senseless. You don’t anticipate them or ever plan for them in all your contingencies and yet, they hit you and can be one of the greatest things to happen.

Recently, I was thrown a curveball of my own. And my God, has it thrown me. It has made me question everything I know about myself and everything I have ever said I stand for and yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Maybe this is still the high from successfully handling the situation talking, but this has been one of life’s greatest curveballs. For the first time I had no part in putting it in motion, but it still happened. It took place despite my insistence that life happens in its given time and that things won’t ever return if you do not try for them.

(I’m reading this paragraph back over and I realise how cryptic it all sounds and I’m honestly not going for that vibe, just trying to keep it generic so you can maybe imagine your own life and the situations you’re in instead of my own)

But, I digress. What I meant to say was, everyone who knows me knows that I am meticulous (which you’ll also know if you’ve read my last post) and what they’d all very politely call ‘particular‘. I do everything in a very systematic way (probably explains why I love building IKEA furniture…), and don’t really like things that set themselves out of what I already know about both myself and my life. And so, being thrown curveballs in life really do destroy every notion of what I know about myself. It shakes my routine and unearths parts of myself I was able to compartmentalise. It reopens a version of fate that I had convinced myself was sealed and I guess when you think about it, it’s pretty insane. But then again, what about me isn’t??

I guess what I’m trying to say but keep going off on too much of a tangent to actually do is that life is insane, and it’s crazy, and it throws things at you that you never even thought of in your wildest dreams, but you know what? It’s still pretty dang great. The entire art of living is not knowing what you’re doing but doing it anyway because, well, you can.

So, if there’s anything I’d say you should take away from this absolute faff, it is this: life is worth living even in its craziest forms. And if you give it a chance, the curveballs that throw you off in the short term might end up being the greatest thing to happen to you in the long run.

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Ayesha Khanom

Sometimes a teacher, sometimes a student, but mostly caffeinated. This blog is a terrible attempt at writing out my thoughts - think of it as the 'comments, complaints, and suggestions' section of my brain. Nevertheless, I hope that some of these words will find a place in your heart and will stay with you even when I do not. If you'd like to get in touch, send me a message on Instagram or leave a comment on one of these posts and I'll get back to you at the best possible time.

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Messy May

I have never had so many things go so colossally wrong all at once but in same breath, go so right either. The entire month of May has been, much like myself, a paradox.


I thought about this title for a long time, and in every way that I try to phrase and rephrase it, it comes back to this one word, unpacking. Unpacking my mind. Unpacking my heart. Unpacking my house. Unpacking my home. Unpacking me.

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